Archive for the Uncategorized Category

Read New Posts Here At Dependable Felons!

Posted in Uncategorized on May 11, 2011 by chumpchange

Hey Guys we have since moved the blog and have also been making videos check us out at Dependable Felons and click on blog !!

Friday the 13th being released on Friday the 13th? Now that’s horrifying.

Posted in Uncategorized on February 10, 2009 by murfrr

I was actually running the franchise over in my mind the other night at work and a few things stood out.  Part IV being billed as the FINAL chapter is hilarious because they were just getting warmed up. Imagine if you told the writers of FINAL chapter that not only would this not be the last installment in the series but four more films down the road Jason would be slashing his way around Manhattan. And the series still wouldn’t end there!

I can honestly say I’m excited for the remake for two reasons, first I believe they are combining elements of the first three films. Which you have to do because Jason doesn’t appear in the first film and he doesn’t don the hockey mask until the third. Second, the Friday series was never really that good. If you’re going to remake, reboot, re envision, re- whatever the fuck you unimaginative pricks want to call it, then choose something that sucks. And let’s be honest, Friday has always been nothing more than a slasher franchise. I would be so bold as to say it’s no better than Child’s Play. I take that back, a giant, undead, machete wielding dude in Dickies, combat boots, and a hockey mask is far more badass than, well, a doll. But the first Child’s Play film was creepier and therefore better than the first Friday.

Michael Bay producing certainly tightens my sphincter a little but what the hell, maybe we can get Jason to chug a Coca Cola while running someone over in a Hummer. Or better yet, a gun fight on Kawasaki jet skis across Crystal Lake with Jason double fisting a pair of gold plated Uzis. That one got away from me a little. But while I was infinitely dissappointed with the Texas Chainsaw and Halloween remakes on account of both of those originals being far more atmospheric than gory, I feel Friday the 13th, which is nothing more than drunk teens getting slashed to pieces while copulating, is impossible to fuck up. We shall see.

The Onion staff may be psychic

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , on January 7, 2009 by dan

Check out this Onion article written in January of 2001

It’s eerie as shit.

The Wrestler

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on December 19, 2008 by dan

So this movie is supposed to be pretty good. Reviews I’ve read have been positive.

Normally, I would leave it at that, but check out this
review by Mick Foley
http://www.slate.com/id/2207076/

And let’s get a wrestling thread going on.

I’ll start.
Undertaker in his prime v. Jake The Snake in his prime.

Discuss.

I Just Ate An Alarming Amount of Wendy’s

Posted in Life Lesson, manly, Morbid, New Ideas, Serious Business, Sex Story, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on December 11, 2008 by mazmo

To clear things up from the get-go,  I am not stating that I performed cunnilingus upon a bevy of women named Wendy in tandem (life-affirmingly bizarre as that would be).  No, I’m stating that for lunch today I consumed 4 ninety-nine cent double stack hamburgers and a baked potato.  This cost me five dollars. 

I was fairly hungry going into Wendy’s, but not quite hungry enough to foreshadow the repulsive gustatory display I put on for anyone who would dare to watch.  Since I was sitting by myself and had no reading material to speak of, it took me roughly 8 minutes to consume four Christ-punching double stacked hamburgers and the goddamn baked potato.  Post-lunch angioplasty is not covered by my insurance carrier, the fucks.  

Sitting here right now, praying for a young, beautiful death via distended stomach detonation, I’m beginning to realize that the sole reason I mortgaged my already fragile health today is because I could afford to.  5 holy fuck dollars bought me enough food to induce a sensation not unlike that of dropping high-grade triple-stack ecstasy. This was followed by a narcoleptic crash so severe that it required every gatherable amount of energy and dignity to fight off.  A white-hot steel cactus inserted into my ass probably would not wake me up right now. 

That is all.

Cartoonage

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on December 10, 2008 by dan

chopped-liver1

Don’t Get The CVS Generic Brand

Posted in Humor, News/Current Events, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on November 25, 2008 by chumpchange

I got the generic brand of plax or something like that (the one where you squeeze the bottle and the top fills up) I don’t remember what it is called, anyway the CVS brand tastes like Bologna, I figured it would taste minty because it is green, but no it tastes like bologna. Also, there generic yeast infection cream tastes like pimento spread. I finished this meal off with a mayonnaise hard candy (it was there generic werthers). That is all.