Archive for the News/Current Events Category

The Midwest – America’s Used Condom

Posted in Hate Speech, Humor, Life Lesson, New Ideas, News/Current Events, Serious Business with tags , , , , , , , , , on January 2, 2009 by chumpchange

Perhaps some of you like the midwest. Well I fucking hate it, it is flat like your mom and boring like your fathers blowjobs. Seriously, the only cool place was Colorado and that because it looks cool, make the entire midwest a giant prison or something productive, make the prisoners farm for free, that could be their community service, and they would be learning a trade that would allow them to be able to merge back into society and not have to go all shawshank and kill themselves. Kansas sucks, it is so boring, and long and flat, I got to see the Oz Museum, well that was certainly a treat, except it wasn’t I was actually hoping to be raped by something that wasn’t Oz related. Utah is cool right? No, it is just as long and as voring as Kansas except it has the added danger of cold mountains, steep hills, no services (phone, gas, food) for 100 miles at a time, elk and deer crossing, mormons, polygamists, etc… The list just goes on and on.

Anyway, I have enjoyed my trip but I don’t think I will drive it again, unless someone else drives and the midwest gets more interesting.

Rappers Delight

Posted in Geekish, Geeky, Humor, New Ideas, News/Current Events with tags , , , , , on December 14, 2008 by chumpchange

Lets philosophise here for a minute. What would happen if Corrupt gave a fuck about a bitch? Socrates says, and so it is stated, that he would always be broke and he quite possibly would have no mothefuckin’ endo to smoke. Thoughts?

OJ Simpson’s Second Trial Was a Real Letdown

Posted in Humor, News/Current Events, Owned with tags , , , , , , , on December 10, 2008 by khakislacksgangster

Wasn’t life so much better in the 90’s?  The first time OJ decided to commit a crime, he killed his ex-wife and some other dude, went on a very low speed car chase with his boy Al Cowlings, hired Johnny Cochran (the most amusing lawyer imaginable), and got away with the whole thing – spawning national debate that broke down along racial lines.

So what happens in 2008?  He steals some of his shit back from people who stole it from him first, everyone ignores it, and he get sentenced to up to 33 years in jail.

This millenium sucks.

The Proof Is In The Pudding…

Posted in Humor, New Ideas, News/Current Events with tags , , , , , , , on November 26, 2008 by chumpchange

I would like to suggest an alternate, possible complete take over of this saying. I want to change it to, the Monkey Is In The Basketball. Why?

Watch This: (click link, and scroll down. Then watch and enjoy

The Monkey Is In The Basketball

Absurdity, unbelieveable.

Person 1: So, people say you are good at writing term papers, any truth to that?

Person 2: The monkey is in the basketball.

Person 1: what?

Person 2: …

Don’t Get The CVS Generic Brand

Posted in Humor, News/Current Events, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on November 25, 2008 by chumpchange

I got the generic brand of plax or something like that (the one where you squeeze the bottle and the top fills up) I don’t remember what it is called, anyway the CVS brand tastes like Bologna, I figured it would taste minty because it is green, but no it tastes like bologna. Also, there generic yeast infection cream tastes like pimento spread. I finished this meal off with a mayonnaise hard candy (it was there generic werthers). That is all.

Shitty Vampire Movies (well, just one)

Posted in Hate Speech, Humor, Morbid, New Ideas, News/Current Events with tags , , , , , , on November 21, 2008 by mazmo

For anyone who plans on seeing Twlight, or reading it (which is even fucking worse), read this blog entry at my favorite movie site CHUD:—Fuck-This-Face.html

AND the follow up:—Fuck-This-Face-II-Fuck-This-Face-Harder.html

Hilarity I tell you

Awesome news story

Posted in News/Current Events with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 19, 2008 by dan

I gotta admit I’m really into all these news stories about pirates between Somalia and Yemen (at the mouth of the Persian Gulf; The Gulf of Aden, if you will).

The Indian Navy destroyed a Pirate Mothership.

That really happened.

A great time to be alive, people!