Archive for the New Ideas Category

Proud To Be American

Posted in New Ideas, News/Current Events with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 5, 2008 by chumpchange

Can I Just say, that I, for the first time in my life, am actually PROUD of my country. I have been saying it for quite some time that our generation is going to make a difference, will have a different view on the world, and ultimately will usher in the new America. Now, I am not so jaded to say that “Obama is our savior, nor do I expect the impossible from him, I am more proud that America was able to look past his skin color and listen to him. Perhaps he is the lesser of two evils and perhaps he is just another politician and honestly I have nothing to defend him except that it just feels different this time. Perhaps, I have been duped into believeing in “HOPE” and “CHANGE” and this feeling of “it’s going to be different” is just a bunch of well marketed bullshit. I guess only time will tell, and we will have to give Obama that chance, there is alot to take care of, alot to change and alot of people to bring together. I guess that is my hope for America, that we become a unified country again, that we all stand up for it, stand up for ourselves and put the future in front of us and look at the good things we can do.

I can’t explain my emotional attachement to this election, to this figure that is our president elect, but I am proud and I have felt tears welling up because for once America feels whole to me. Also, how about McCain’s concession speech? I mean seriously that was almost better than Obama’s acceptance speech, I was more moved by McCain’s words and honestly it felt more like the McCain of old, the guy who spoke from his heart (I know this speech was written by some writers but I guess I want to think that he had some input on it because there were some inspiring moments). This election was an event, a world event, if I learned anything in 2008 it is how much the rest of the world pays attention to America, my eyes were shut to that for so long, everything we do and say affects the rest of the world and has a profound impact. It was rattling to hear that the rest of the world saying how greatful they would be if Obama was running in their country, and that it wouldn’t even be a contest (all pre-election). Of course having some international friends send you newspaper articles on America is quite an eye opening experience because it is devoid of the cultural bias and attention shifting news and tactics.

Also CNN’s holograms were amazing, and I have an idea about the next election, lets do it “Deal or No Deal” Style where someone picks a suitcase, and in that suitcase is the name of the winner etc…. you know the rules.

I am proud to be American for once.

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In Defense of Halloween 3

Posted in Geekish, Geeky, Humor, Morbid, New Ideas with tags , , , , , , , on October 31, 2008 by mazmo

I’ve watched Halloween 3: Season of the Witch at least twice in the past 4 months and I’ve come to the conclusion that I love this movie.  Yes, love it. 

To begin, the central plot of the movie begs for deeper consideration: A nefarious cabal of Pagans wish to return Halloween to it’s roots through a plot to murder children by melting their heads and subsequently releasing poisonous snakes and insects from said melted child head.  Read that again. Fuck it, read it 10 more times.  Baffling!  And….awesome.

Throw in a drunken Tom Atkins, androids (holy shit!), and that old guy from Robocop (whom I’m fairly certainly was billed as “The Old Man” in the credits of Robocop) as the mastermind behind the entire adolescent-head-melting/transformation scheme and, shit, you have a serious contender for the best entry in the underappreciated  “Plots to Horribly Kill Children in Droves” genre, a personal favorite. 

Sure there’s no Michael Myers in it but I’ll be damned if this isn’t a quality picture.  Objections?

Mouth Skin All Over

Posted in Humor, New Ideas with tags , , , , , , on October 29, 2008 by chumpchange

Mouth Skin. Think about that for a second. It’s wet, it’s slimy, it salivates and it digests. Now, imagine that you had mouth skin all over the rest of your body. It would be an interesting time, and I would probably wish it to happen to my friends out of hilarity, just to watch them at a party and then see a tasty treat go by, then they start salivating from their body, and their clothes are soaked. Everyday you wake up you would be covered, you would have to sleep in a kiddie pool or you may digest yourself. You may even be referred to as the human slug and would have to deal with children throwing salt on you all of the time.

It sounds like it would be a terrible thing, but I would try it for a day.

Where have you gone, Robot in Rocky IV?

Posted in Geeky, Humor, New Ideas, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on October 28, 2008 by dan

First things first:  I love Rocky IV.  Love it!  Not only was it a great Revenge Theme movie but it ended the Cold War.  In fact, it was one of the more apt Cold War films; Self-Made Man versus Tool of the State, Tool of the State declaring that he fights not for the polit bureau but for himself (“Yasi byah” is almost certainly not actual Russian, but it was moving in the film).

I know the whole goddamn movie was crazy.  Why didn’t the ref stop the exhibition fight before the semi-retired, wholly beloved former heavyweight champion was beaten to death?  That’s so unlikely it may as well be impossible.  How did Rocky avoid being concussed while the Russian (whose punches have been established at 2000 psi pressure) rocks his dome repeatedly? 

But one thing stands out.

The Robot.

And it’s not even that the Robot itself was so crazy.  The real point is that in all the conversations I’ve ever had about Rocky IV, or the series as a whole (and I’ve had many), everyone just avoids the topic of the Robot.

Maybe we don’t know what to say.  What can you say? 

It’s insane to think Rocky could have single-handedly won over the hearts of the entire Soviet Union.  But at the very least, the Soviet Union was a real thing!

There’s no such thing as domestic androids!  Where could Rocky have bought that?!  It’s not a real item!! 

All of us need to stop pretending that there wasn’t a completely fucking unreal robot in Rocky IV.

Enough.

Chest Hair Is Manly

Posted in Humor, manly, New Ideas with tags , , , , , on October 21, 2008 by chumpchange

Really, I don’t think I have to say more than the title but real men have chest hair. I have battled with that idea for years. Women like men that are hairy and manly. And the more hair the better and more manly we are. Look at Burt Reynolds, Sean Connery, Tarzan, Sasquatch. Ask any woman about the first two and they will surely sleep with them and ask about the second two and some will probably still sleep with them simply based on the chest hair.

So, grow that chest hair, loud and proud, stick out, cut it off and glue it to your face. It doesn’t matter what you do just show it off.

Top Ten Lists Are Pointless

Posted in Geeky, Humor, New Ideas with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on October 18, 2008 by murfrr

Which is why I’m suggesting a top thirteen just to be an arsehole.  Art is subjective so listing the best ever is stupid.  So without further ado and in no particular order here are my favorite thirteen films, songs, and novels.  I suggest for fun ya’ll do the same.  Remember this is favorite, not best.  Best means nothing.

Films-Rope, The Big Lebowski, King of Comedy, Blue Velvet, Being John Malkovich, The Royal Tenenbaums, Punch Drunk Love, Dr. Strangelove, Major League, Halloween, The Squid and the Whale, Waiting For Guffman, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Songs-John Brown by Bob Dylan, Heart-Shaped Box by Nirvana, Astral Weeks by Van Morrison, Life During Wartime by Talking Heads, Heroin by The Velvet Underground, Love Spreads by The Stone Roses, Fat Bottomed Girls by Queen, Paid in Full by Eric B. & Rakim, 96 Tears by Question Mark & the Mysterians, City Hall by Tenacious D, Whipping Post by The Allman Brothers Band, Welcome to the Terrordome by Public Enemy, Rock n Roll Suicide by David Bowie, This Time Tomorrow by The Kinks, Symptom of the Universe by Black Sabbath, Honey Melon by The Slip, maybe that’s more than thirteen so fucking sue me

Novels-The Sirens of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut, Ubik by Philip K. Dick, 1984 by George Orwell, V For Vendetta by Alan Moore, Infinite Jest by Hang Man (tasteless), A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole, Foundation by Isaac Asimov, The Stand by Stephen King, The Island of Dr. Moreau by H.G. Wells, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey, The Illuminatus Trilogy by Robert Anton Wilson & Robert Shea, Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter Thompson

Now suck my shit and beat that dick, I fucking dare you!

Doi

Posted in Geekish, Geeky, Humor, New Ideas with tags , , , , , , , , , on October 7, 2008 by dan

Pretty much everything is easier said than done.


The only things that are easier done than said would be involuntary bodily functions.

 

Especially if you use the longer, scientific terms.

 

Cardiopulmonary activity is easier done than said.

 

Reflexive inhalation is easier done than said.

 

Exhale is easier done than said, since saying something is exhaling plus manipulating sounds.

 

I could go on like this.