Archive for the Geekish Category

Why So Serious?

Posted in Geekish, Geeky, Humor, Serious Business with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on January 7, 2009 by chumpchange

All I have is this photo.

At Least It Gary Oldman

At Least It Gary Oldman

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Rappers Delight

Posted in Geekish, Geeky, Humor, New Ideas, News/Current Events with tags , , , , , on December 14, 2008 by chumpchange

Lets philosophise here for a minute. What would happen if Corrupt gave a fuck about a bitch? Socrates says, and so it is stated, that he would always be broke and he quite possibly would have no mothefuckin’ endo to smoke. Thoughts?

A conundrum

Posted in Geekish with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 13, 2008 by dan

Okay.

Say you’re driving the Back to the Future DeLorean.  You hit the thing or whatever and travel through time; like a day into the future.

Then you spin right around and drive directly into the path from whence you came and travel back to the exact second you left.

Would you hit yourself in the time-flux?

You’re traveling in the same space and through the same time gap.

Ponder that shit.

 

Also, I’ve never tasted BooBerry.

A Pleasant Gremlin Death

Posted in Geekish, Geeky, Humor with tags , , , , , , , , on November 4, 2008 by chumpchange

I love gremlins! I mean, maybe I think I do, I don’t really like the movies that much, I guess I love the idea of Gremlins and Mogwai. One thing that gets me though is that these evil gremlins come off of the cutest thing on earth or wherever it is from. They are vile, disgusting, abhoring creatures, but they sort of kill people in a cutesy ironic sort of way, I guess they can’t shed all of Gizmo’s traits. Sure they are murderous, but they wll kill you in a cute sort of way, they will lagh while flame throwing you and somehow that is sort of endearing.

Also, what happens if you get a gremlin wet, do you start getting inbred gremlins? Do the same rules apply to gremlins as they do to mogwai? Why was spike an evil mogwai? Why do I remember these things and then think about them?

In Defense of Halloween 3

Posted in Geekish, Geeky, Humor, Morbid, New Ideas with tags , , , , , , , on October 31, 2008 by mazmo

I’ve watched Halloween 3: Season of the Witch at least twice in the past 4 months and I’ve come to the conclusion that I love this movie.  Yes, love it. 

To begin, the central plot of the movie begs for deeper consideration: A nefarious cabal of Pagans wish to return Halloween to it’s roots through a plot to murder children by melting their heads and subsequently releasing poisonous snakes and insects from said melted child head.  Read that again. Fuck it, read it 10 more times.  Baffling!  And….awesome.

Throw in a drunken Tom Atkins, androids (holy shit!), and that old guy from Robocop (whom I’m fairly certainly was billed as “The Old Man” in the credits of Robocop) as the mastermind behind the entire adolescent-head-melting/transformation scheme and, shit, you have a serious contender for the best entry in the underappreciated  “Plots to Horribly Kill Children in Droves” genre, a personal favorite. 

Sure there’s no Michael Myers in it but I’ll be damned if this isn’t a quality picture.  Objections?

Masters of the Universe (movie): An Appreciation

Posted in Geekish, Geeky, Humor, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on October 24, 2008 by mazmo

Sitting at work today, The Masters of the Universe movie somehow came to mind and decided to stay there.  Thusly, and since I haven’t written a post in some time, here’s a rather haphazard character/production dissection of a beloved franchise from my youth:

He-Man:  Dolph did an acceptable job.  His pectoralis majors did a considerably better job.  Frankly, He-Man was always the least interesting aspect of the whole series/actions figures/so-on for me. 

Skeletor: Fuckin’ A right, Frank Langella.  Badassness aplenty here and bitching make up effects to boot. 

Detective Lubic: essentially Strickland with a badge, therefore a serious contender for Best Character Ever.  Easily handles the appearance of scantily clad interdimensional warriors AND a necrotic overlord in his quaint Everyhood, keeps his cool wits about him, and then chooses to stay in Eternia after being granted what appears to be personal harem.  Needs a spinoff, right the fuck now.

Evil Lynn: just now realizing her name is a play on the name Evelyn.  Meh.  Kind of like being a henchman named Nefarious Rupert.  Actress who played here was pretty hot though, albeit in a Palinesque (read: frightening) way.

Blade: made up for the movie bad guy, pretty cool though.  Scene where he finally faces off with He-Man and says something prior to fight along the lines of “I’ve been waiting a long time for this” leads to a rather underwhelming sword fight, therefore a bit of a disappointment.  Granted I haven’t seen a single frame of this film in over a decade, but I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even get killed at the end. 

Sauron: single greatest let down of my childhood.  Another made just for movie bad guy, but fuck me, for an anthropomorphic snake he was goddamn dangerous looking.  So after introduction he kind of tags along with rest of henchmen and then, after they fuck up the first time, is vaporized by Skeletor as punishment.  Now, I had the action figure before the movie came out (it had a wheel on its back that made the mouth shoot sparks!) and in my mind I envisioned great acts of villainy from Sauron, and this is what I get.  Little has made me more depressed since then, including the real life death of four grandparents. 

Gwildor:  Poor’s man Orco. Fuck you Barty, and your magic Key.

Having 75% of Movie Take Place on Earth: an obvious way to cut down on production costs.  The throne room in Grayskull was a nice set though.

The Last Battle Betwixt He-Man and Skeletor: AWESOME.  Having the two of them face off illuminated by only blue and red lights sounds stupid but worked. 

VERDICT:  As both an adaptation and a stand alone sci-fi flick, I think it stands up pretty well despite a few glaring shortcoming. 

Will have remember to revist this topic after the next Rape of My Childhood On the Big Screen: live action G.I. Joe movie

Doi

Posted in Geekish, Geeky, Humor, New Ideas with tags , , , , , , , , , on October 7, 2008 by dan

Pretty much everything is easier said than done.


The only things that are easier done than said would be involuntary bodily functions.

 

Especially if you use the longer, scientific terms.

 

Cardiopulmonary activity is easier done than said.

 

Reflexive inhalation is easier done than said.

 

Exhale is easier done than said, since saying something is exhaling plus manipulating sounds.

 

I could go on like this.