Jagerbombs – Can’t Live With Them, Can’t Live Without Them

I was sitting here earlier today talking about jagerbombs, the true ambrosia, with some of my coworkers. We were speaking of how incredibly cheap they are here where I live, I think the average price floats around $5 maximum. If I go out and find them expensive or that they dont use Red Bull in their drinks, I immediately leave and take my chugging ass elsewhere. It not my fucking fault that you are charging so much goddamn money for America’s most popular drink. If I had my way I would open up old school malt shops, a la the 50’s, except they would serve Jager Bombs, and Jager malts etc… I would take my dates there, and we wouldn’t get 2 straws because I am not sharing such a delicious drink. I would get 2 drinks (actually more like 20 or so) that we would chug in harmony, and for that 1 second of chugging the world would feel at peace and all would be right.

Which reminds me, I was once dragged to the scummiest place on earth Finnegans Wake in Philadelphia, PA by one of my friends for his birthday. This place is essentially a 3 story frat house, with the combined IQ of the place reaching nearly 10. The bathrooms were scummy and I am sure there were a lot of drugs there, regardless it was an ugly place, but it had a lot of people and they were good looking so it succeeded.

ANYWAY, since it was my friends birthday I had the brilliant idea of getting some drinks fro everyone I was with, I believe I purchased 3 Jager Bombs and 3 Miller Lites, that cost me roughly $43. Here is my reaction reenacted through the use of words.

Bar Whore: What do you want?

Me:  Hello, I would like 3 Jager Bombs and 3 Miller Lites, Please

Bar Whore: that will be 43

Me: DOLLARS!!!!

Bar Whore: Yes.

Needless to say I never went back, and I will never live anywhere where Jager Bombs aren’t cheap ever again.